Learning to Lifeguard
original version written in April 1996
Even a thousand spirits
All clearly marked "Fragile"
Should each and every one be set down slowly.
No, not always from the air --
At least not this one...
Hurried days spent with another
Wrapped in heart matters
Already held her so near
To the ground --
Leaving only two places to go,
But only one choice really...
So sometimes I feared for her she'd get the bends,
But now I know how to pull her back to the surface carefully
Whenever she ventures too far down --
When she's asleep, I tell her
That her half of the soul
Shared centuries ago, is still
Near its tranquil home
(Where it burrowed its way inside -- Remember?)
That way, I can still get her to laugh and smile sometimes.
Limbo -- That's where she lives now...
I'll keep her there forever if I have to.
I won't let her take any risks, 'cause I love her
Too much.
The original version of this poem was written about my idealization -- or perhaps a better term would be idolization -- of a former 'demigod' of mine named Greg. At the time that I was getting to know him, I was already sixteen-and-a-half years into a nearly eighteen year relationship with my very interesting, but also very human friend Jack. (Since demigods are only our own idealized images projected onto ordinary mortals we meet -- I think that using the possessive term 'mine' fits in with that perfectly. Through 'our' demigods -- those humans that for whatever reason we choose to view through rose colored glasses, we give ourselves -- at least for a time -- "something beautiful" or "something to believe in" when the world seems so self-serving that you just know that "God" was only some space alien kid who created us for one of his/her/its science projects. Since we were subsequently abandoned, I'm guessing that the project didn't get a good grade.)
posted by christin m p in massachusetts at
6:56 AM
3 Comments:
I would give the space alien kid a good grade for his experiment.
It is still living and changing and has more drama and interest than Desperate Housewives. It could be the longest running soap opera in the universe.
I know it is hard to give up the fantasy of our demigods. Life is messy at the surface, but living life IS the point of it all.
I guess it isn't all bad (but I still maintain that a lot of it IS bad).
I probably shouldn't say this, but I'm going to anyway. I kind of turned you into a demigod from afar for awhile. Your living in Paradise added to the "rose colored glasses" effect too. Even when I finally let you come down to Earth, you still turned out to be pretty good. My demigods -- whether up close or far away -- always turn out to be pretty good humans.
You've got me interested in that Desperate Housewives show too now, you know. I found out that actress Marcia Cross -- the one who plays Brie -- grew up and went to high school in Marlborough, MA -- less than five miles away from where I live now.
It's funny -- Sometimes I feel like a desperate housewife myself, even though I'm not a housewife. The hot gardener scenario is especially appealing -- even if just to watch him at work. It would give me something to look forward to whenever my life gets too boring.
If only I had a magic wand...
A magic wand would come in handy for me right now. My parents are chomping at the bit to get me to NC ASAP and the thought of all the work involved is so overwhelming.
If only I could wave a magic wand and a beautiful house on a mountain top appeared.
I think I need a nap.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home